Lemons & Wraith & John Oh My!
by flubber
Summary: Rodney has a nightmare where John does something nasty to him. He wouldn't do that in real life would he?
1. Chapter 1 The Nightmare

-1Lemons And Wraith And John. Oh my!

Rating : - T

WARNING - This story contains a very dark nightmare that contains a character death.

Contains spoilers for SG1 episode Pegasus Project and SGA episode Common Ground.

Disclaimer - : I do not have any rights to any of the character in the Stargate world. If I did I would want rights to Dr's Mckay, Beckett and Zalenka because they are cute.

Summary - Rodney has a nightmare where John does something nasty to him. He wouldn't do that in real life would he?

A/ N. This story was inspired by the name of fellow fanfiction contributor, 'Lemons and Wraith. Oh my!" I asked for permission to write the story and he/she said yes. So thanks a bundle and I hope you enjoy the story. The story takes places after the events of both 'Pegasus Project' and 'Common Ground'

This story is a angst hurt/comfort Mckay/Sheppard friendship story. Although it is unintentional some people may see it as pre-slash. If you do, then that's ok. However you choose to see it read on and I hope you enjoy.

Chapter 1 - The Nightmare.

Late one night Rodney lay face down on his bed. He was so tired that he hadn't even bothered to change out of his clothes. If anyone had seen him, he would have looked restless, tossing and turning unable to find a spot to lie in that was comfortable.

Rodney was having that dream again. The one that involved a lemon and a death threat. Normally that wouldn't have mattered. He would just wake up and laugh about it. After all, the dream involved Colonel Mitchell and he didn't really mind what he thought of him. It wasn't as if he was going to be spending much time with the man. But tonight the dream was going to turn in to a nightmare. A nightmare of horrendous proportions.

…Rodney woke up lying on the floor. He tried to stand up but nothing happened. Suddenly someone stood over him. He tried to focus but he couldn't make anything out! Something was wrong but he couldn't work out what! He tried to move and found that all his muscles were burning.

" What the hell is going on?" he thought to himself.

Rodney tried to speak. The voice that came out was not his. It sounded all wrong. So he stopped, swallowed and then tried again. But it still didn't sound right. Instead of a voice that could put the fear of god in to his fellow scientists, all there was, was a small quiet voice. It sounded like the voice of someone who was waiting to see out the last of their days, not the voice of someone who, even though he said it himself, was in the prime of his life. Rodney still couldn't work out what was happening and this was beginning to annoy him.

Rodney lifted his hands to try to rub his eyes.

"Oh my god." he thought as he looked at the gnarled hand before his eyes. This was so wrong. Raising his other hand he found that it looked the same. With a look of horror, Rodney realised that these were not the hands that could perform miracles and save Atlantis. These were the hands of an old person. But these were not the hands that he had woken up with this morning.

How had this happened?

As Rodney looked up, his eyes began to focus. Standing above him was a Wraith. Suddenly everything fell into place. With a feeling of horror and revulsion, he understood what had happened. He had been fed upon by this demon above him, the years of his life sucked out of him.

Rodney felt sad. This was not the way that he had imagined he would die. He had always thought he would go out in a 'blaze of glory' trying to save Atlantis, the city that he had come to call home. Instead he was going to die a wizened, lifeless husk. It just didn't seem at all fair that someone as amazing as him should meet such a pitiful end. Then a horrible thought struck him. Why hadn't the Wraith finished the job?

"Why stop here? Why not finish the job?" He rasped, wincing at the sound of his voice.

The Wraith sneered at him and replied, "Because there is someone here who wants to do that for me. "

The face that had been towering above him was replaced by another. This face was familiar. This was the face of a friend.

"Colonel Sheppard. John. Thank god. You'll save me won't you?" he rasped out. Looking up hopefully. Maybe he could force the Wraith to give him his years back like the Wraith that had attacked him.

John laughed in his face. "Whatever gave you that idea?"

Rodney looked at him, dumbfounded. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. This was Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard USAF. This was the man that was his best friend. The man who had saved his life. What was going on?

"But you are my best friend. Why won't you help me?" Rodney asked, the confusion clear in his voice.

John leant down in to his face and sneered, " Elizabeth was right. You are such an easy mark. We don't like you Rodney. We have been pretending. In fact, if it hadn't been for the fact that you are so good at what you do, Elizabeth would have had you sent back to earth months ago. "

Rodney felt the tears run down his face. When he came to Atlantis and had been made a part of John's team, he had thought that he had finally found a place to call home. Somewhere where he was wanted and needed. Somewhere where he had been part of a family. Now he was having all that taken away from him. He couldn't bear it.

"What about Ronan and Teyla? Don't they like me?" Rodney asked, looking for a little ray of hope in all this. Teyla had always been there for him and he couldn't believe that she didn't like him.

"Ronan doesn't like you but then he doesn't really hate you either. Teyla befriended you out of pity. She thought that you were such a sad and pathetic creature that you needed someone on your side. Even Radek, your number two, cant stand you. He knows that he is just as good as you are and it irritates him that you can't see that too!"

At this point John knelt down beside Rodney and looked him straight in the eye. As Rodney looked back he saw that John's eyes no longer reflected the warmth and friendship that he had seen before. Instead they were dark and cold.

"I pretended to like you because I was under orders from Elizabeth. I have to tell you that I find you irradiating and annoying. You know what I hate most of all about you?" he asked as he nudged Rodney gently with the toe of his boot.

Rodney shook his head, not really sure that he wanted to hear what was coming.

"I'm going to tell you. I hate the fact that you are a self-centred, self-absorbed,, egotistical man who seems to spend all his time whining about how badly the universe treats him and who feels that he has a right to make other peoples lives miserable." John spat the words out at Rodney, who lay there stunned.

John was wrong. He didn't feel like he had the right to make peoples lives miserable. He couldn't help that people didn't understand him. It wasn't his fault that other people's reaction to him was to get upset. It wasn't his fault that 'the powers that be' had left him in the company of some of the most inferior minds in two galaxies despite what it said on their CVs. Of course, a mind like John's couldn't understand what it was like to be a genius, despite the fact that he claimed that he could join Mensa.

Rodney knew what this was all about.

"You're all jealous of me aren't you. You're all jealous of the fact that I have the brains on Atlantis and you are just second rate minds. Even Radek, despite what he thinks, isn't as good as me. We both know it! But of course, you wouldn't give me the satisfaction of admitting that in front of anyone else." Despite the fact that his voice was that of a very old man. Rodney still managed to fill it with the contempt that he was feeling.

"Oh please. Don't make me laugh!" John said, his voice full of scorn, "What possible reason would I, or anyone else for that matter, have to be jealous of you? You are a sad, pathetic little man. You are so full of yourself that you can't see that truth that is right in front of your eyes. We don't want you here. Nobody wants you. We couldn't even send you back to the SGC."

Rodney looked up at John in disbelief as he continued, " Believe me when I say we have tried. Colonel Carter's reaction was that she would rather die at the hands of the Ori than have to put up with you again. I can't say that I blame her."

Looking down at Rodney he shook his head.

"You present us with a bit of a problem, Rodney. However, my friend and I have come up with a solution that will deal with you permanently." John said, as he and the Wraith exchanged knowing smiles.

Rodney really didn't want to think about what was going to happen next. However, he knew from John's tone of voice that it wasn't going to be good.

Leaning over Rodney John showed him what would turn out to be the method of his demise. He was holding a lemon.

"You've always gone on about how deathly allergic you are to citrus. I want to see if that is correct. If it's not, I can always let my Wraith friend finish you off. Either way, we get rid of you once and for all!"

Rodney tried to struggle but he was too weak. So instead he started pleading for his life, "Please John. Don't do this! Get him to give me my life back. I can change. Let me try. Oh God. Please let me live."

John stood over him and cut the lemon in half and said, "I'm sorry Rodney. It's too late for that. We just don't want you alive any more. We've had enough!"

With that he motioned to the Wraith, who got down behind Rodney's head. Grabbing his jaws he forced Rodney's mouth open. John knelt down, his knees straddling Rodney's chest, with the lemon held above his open mouth. Then he began to squeeze, laughing maniacally as he watched the juice drip in to Rodney's mouth.

"Goodbye Rodney. I wish I could say that it's been a pleasure to know you but you know how it is. Mind you, it will be a pleasure to see you die."

As Johns last words faded Rodney felt his whole body start to burn. He tried to breath but nothing was happening. He was dying and he knew it. Slowly his field of vision began to shrink and everything went black.

…Rodney sat bolt upright in his bed, sweat pouring from his body.

"It was a nightmare. That's all. It was just a silly dream." Rodney said out loud as he pulled himself off the bed.

Looking out of the window, Rodney thought to himself , "John is my best friend. I know I can be annoying at times but I never asked John to be my friend. He made friends with me. He likes me because he wants to. He wouldn't hurt me. I know it."

Rodney stood and stared out of the window. Even though in his mind he knew that it was a dream, it had all felt so horribly real. The image that stuck in his mind was the coldness that he had seen in John's eyes. And no matter what he said to himself he couldn't forget the sound of the laugh that had come from John as he had done the deed.

He had to know that this wasn't true. He had to know that he still belonged here and that John was his friend. He needed to know because, despite his best efforts, he had become used to having John's friendship. And worse of all for him, he had begun to care about the man.

"Damn it!" he shouted.

Without stopping to put on his shoes, he ran out of his room and headed towards Johns.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2 What Friendship Means

-1Lemons & Wraith & John. Oh My!

A/n For all disclaimers and notes etc please see chapter 1.

There may be spoilers for seasons 1, 2. And 3.

Chapter 2. What Friendship Means.

As he hurried down the corridor Rodney became aware of the fact that people were staring and he didn't appreciate it. Still it didn't matter all that much. He was only going to visit his best friend and there was nothing wrong with that!

Suddenly he started to panic. "What do I do if the Colonel doesn't like me any more? Where will I go? How will I cope?"

He knew that if his friendship with John was over he would find life in Atlantis difficult. He would have to give up his place on John's team. As there wasn't another team that he wanted to be part of, this would mean that he would find it difficult to go on missions and would be stuck in the city. Then there would be the question of avoiding John. That wouldn't be that difficult. He could live in the lab on a more permanent basis. Yes that would be it. Either that, or he could leave Atlantis in the hands of Zalenka and leave altogether.

These were things that he didn't really want to think about right now, but no matter how he tried he couldn't get these thoughts out of his mind. By the time Rodney got to John's door he was a wreck.

Standing in front of the closed door Rodney hesitated. He wanted to know how John felt and yet he wasn't prepared to have him throw their friendship in his face.

Why did he feel this way? It wasn't as if John had given him any indication that there was anything wrong. So what was the problem?

"It's that damn dream! It was so real." Rodney thought to himself, fear and dread growing in his heart in equal measure.

Summoning up all the courage that he had, he knocked on the door hard and called out, "Colonel Sheppard. John are you there? I really need to talk to you. Please let me in."

John heard a noise and reached for his gun. He didn't like being woken up in the night like this and wasn't prepared to take any chances.

"After all," he thought to himself, "the time that I don't bother will be the time that I get a bullet in my head or worse!"

John's mind drifted back to his encounter with the Wraith and he shuddered. He remembered the way that it felt to have the life sucked out of you bit by bit. The feeling of helplessness was overwhelming and he never wanted to go through it again. Also, he knew that he had been lucky. In all honesty, he hadn't expected to get out of that encounter in one piece. Despite the coolness that he had shown, he had been as surprised as Rodney that he had got his life back like that. Not that he had any intention of telling anyone about it! After all he had a reputation to keep up and he was damned if he was going to ruin it now!

On receiving no reply, Rodney hammered harder. Determined to get an answer "Colonel. I know that you are in there. Open up right now."

John recognised the voice. It was Rodney.

Rolling over and looking at his clock he thought to himself, "What's so important that I need to get woken up at 1:30 am?"

John sighed heavily as he dragged himself out of bed.

As he opened the door, he started to speak, "Rodney. What is so important … "

The sentence died in his throat as he looked at the man that stood before him. His hair was matted with sweat, his face sheet white. But the thing that John noticed most of all were his eyes. He had seen enough action on the battlefield to know a look of fear when he saw one! Slowly he lifted his hand up to take Rodney by the arm and watched with concern as he shrunk away from him.

Rodney knew that he had flinched as John had reached out to help him. He didn't mean to. He couldn't help it. He still had the memory of that damn dream in his head and he couldn't get it to go away. That wasn't John. That wasn't the man that stood before him. In his mind he knew it and yet. The image had been so real. That was the reason that he was here.

He had to confront this. For his own sake. He had to know that it had all been a dream and that everything was ok between them. However, he couldn't deny the fact that the whole experience had really shaken him.

"What is the expression? Ah yes 'Caught like a deer in the headlights." Rodney thought to himself ruefully.

At this moment, the man was paralysed with fear, doubt and indecision. He didn't know where to go or what to do!

"Rodney." No response. John tried again. "Rodney. Are you ok?"

Rodney looked at him. Slowly he shook his head and said nothing.

John moved back in to his room, hoping that Rodney would follow him. This did the trick as Rodney went after him.

"Come on in and make yourself at home." he said directing Rodney to his bed, as he grabbed the chair and sat down.

Looking at Rodney, John began to worry. In all the time since he had known the man, he had never seen him look like this. Normally this was the man that would greet fear with a snarky remark and who would complain about everything. To see him so silent was, to say the least, a little un-nerving.

"Ok. I guess you came and woke me up for a reason." John said, hoping to get a response that would give him some indication of what was going on.

Looking down, Rodney said, "Would you look at that! I didn't put any shoes or socks on. No wonder people were staring at me."

"Ok" John thought "at least he is able to talk. I'm sure he'll get round to what's bothering him eventually." trying to stifle a yawn.

"I had a dream John. A nightmare to be exact. It was horrible." Rodney looked at John.

"What does that have to do with me?" John enquired.

"You were in the nightmare. There was a Wraith and he had been feeding on me. You were there. I … " Rodney hesitated.

He didn't really feel comfortable telling John this, but what choice did he have. If he didn't tell him everything then he would never be able to sort it out in his mind.

"I thought you were going to save me," he continued, with John watching him intently, "but you didn't. You said … you said that everybody hated me and that … "

Rodney stopped and sighed, before going on, "You said that you were only friends with me because the was what Elizabeth told you to do. You said that …that the thing that you hated the most about me was that I was self-centred, self-absorbed and egotistical and that I spend all my time whining about the way I am treated by the universe. Oh yes. You also said that I felt that I had a right to make … peoples lives miserable."

Rodney could feel the tears welling up in his eyes and he wiped them on the back of his hand.

John was about to say something, he held up his hand and continued, "It got worse John. You said that everyone had had enough of me and that nobody wanted me around any more. You told me that they didn't even want me at the SGC and … "

At this point Rodney couldn't hold back any more. The tears began to roll down his face. He struggled to continue.

"You told me … you told me that Sam had said she would rather die at the hands of the Ori … than put up with me again. You said that … that you were going to solve the problem perm … permanently. And you did."

John wasn't sure he really wanted to ask the next question, but didn't really feel he had much choice. "What happened next Rodney? What did I do?"

"You killed … you killed me using lemon juice." Rodney lifted his tear stained face to look at John.

This last part really threw John for a loop. All his instincts were to burst out laughing but he knew, from the look in Rodney's eyes, that this would be the wrong thing to do. As he fought to regain control of himself, he wondered what on earth could have triggered this off. As far as he knew they were ok.

John got up from the seat and sat on the bed next to Rodney, put his arm round his shoulder and squeezed gently.

"It's ok Rodney. I promise I'm not going to kill you. And I'm not going to let anyone else kill you either. Life round here wouldn't be the same. Anyway, Atlantis needs you and I need you too!"

John hated to admit it but he couldn't imagine what it would be like without Rodney around. Yes, in some ways Rodney was self-centred and self-absorbed.. His ego was as big as a planet but somehow that didn't matter. It didn't matter because John had come to realise that that was part of who Rodney was. Not only that, he had also been privileged to see the heroic side of Rodney. This was the side of Rodney that had on numerous occasions managed to drag their collective asses out of the fire.

John remember the first time he had seen Rodney in heroic mode. It was when they had confronted the darkness in the gate room. John had watched in horror as Rodney had put on the shield and walked in to the growing cloud. He thought that he had lost his friend and there was a real empty feeling in his body. It felt as though a part of him had walked in to the darkness and he wasn't sure whether it would be coming back. When Rodney came round John had a feeling of relief and pride in equal measure. Relief because Rodney was ok and pride because he had been the one to risk everything .

It showed John that underneath all the bluff and bluster there was a real honest to God human being. That was part of what made John want to be Rodney's friend. The other was the fact that despite Rodney's best attempts to hide the fact, he really did care what John thought of him.

His mind drifted back to the aftermath of Doranda. The way that Rodney had come and apologised had really got to him. John knew how hard it must have been for him to come to and say sorry like that and it meant a lot to him. It also meant a lot to him that it mattered to Rodney that he had his trust too.

Most of all, John had to admit to himself, he had come to care about the man that was sitting on his bed. It mattered to John that Rodney was his friend. In fact, he would say that Rodney was his best friend. What didn't matter to him was the fact that Rodney wasn't the fittest member of his team, or that Rodney spent most of his time whinging about something or other. It didn't matter that Rodney spent time letting people know how stupid they were. It didn't matter because this was all part of the man known as Dr Rodney Mckay, CSO of the Atlantis expedition.

Turning to look Rodney straight in the eyes he said "You are my best friend. Sure, sometimes you can be the biggest pain in the neck. But I wouldn't want to change you no matter what anyone says. I have seen the heroic side of you, Rodney. I know that Atlantis wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. I know that the same can be said for me too! I promise you that I will do everything that I can to keep you from harm. Ok?."

Rodney gave him a nod and a weak smile.

"Lets get you back to your room." he said as he helped Rodney off the bed.

Rodney ran a hand through his hair and started to speak.

"I … It's" but no matter how he tried to speak the words wouldn't come.

"It's ok Rodney." John said as he guided Rodney from his room to his own.

They walked together in silence. John had to admit that it was rather strange. He was used to Rodney talking none stop. In most cases he couldn't get him to shut up. The silence was odd any yet somehow felt right.

Eventually they got to Rodney's door.

John made sure that Rodney got in to his room ok.

"If you want anything you know where I am." John said as he headed for the door.

Rodney watched John leave. As the door slid closed he fell on his bed and stared at eh ceiling.

"When did my life get so complicated?" he thought to himself.

When he was on Earth, he was the one in charge making all the decisions. He would turn up at work, spend his day telling people what do to make sure he got all the things he needed done. Then he would go home. He had nothing to worry about apart from his cat..

When he dealt with people it was on his terms. He only dealt with them when he had to, the rest of the time he spent alone. He lost himself in his science. That was the one thing that he knew was constant. He didn't have any friends. He didn't mind. Because he was a genius and was marked out from a young age, he had never been one of the in crowd. As a result of this, he had never had friends. He had never had any need of them. He had been alone for so long that he had got used to it!

He realised that life was easier when you didn't have friends. There was no-one for you to depend on and no-one to depend on you. You were not going to be disappointed and there was no-one to betray. Ok, it meant that he spent his time alone. But at least it meant that he never got hurt. Since he came to Atlantis, though everything had changed. He had been put in charge of a group of people that he had never met before and expected to make things work. He was asked to do incredible things and pull everyone's backsides out of the fire on a regular basis. Even the science that he had come to rely on, was different here. Sometimes the mistakes that he had made had consequences that went far beyond anything he had experienced on Earth. Rodney remembered what had happened with the Arcturus project and shuddered.

However, the thing that had really struck him was the that he was somewhere he was needed and wanted. Somewhere where he was able to make a difference. This was something that he had never known before. The other thing was the fact that he now had friends. This was something that he had never had before either.

The first person to reach out to him was John Sheppard. Rodney had always wondered why he had become his friend. After all John was everything Rodney wasn't. He was cool, self-assured . He managed to do thing with a certain ease. He was really charismatic and found it seemingly easy to get on with people and to make friends. He also had the ATA gene and was really good using it. This was something that he really envied him for. Rodney knew that he was none of those things. All his bluff and bluster hid a mound of insecurities and although he was a genius he had to work at things. He also knew that he lacked in charisma and his people skills weren't that good either.

And yet? And yet here he was part of the Atlantis expeditions first team, SGA-1. And he was a valued member at that. Dr Radek Zelenka was more of a friend to him than he realised. (It was something, that thanks to Arcturus incident, he was never likely to forget) Then there was John Sheppard, Lieutenant Colonel USAF, SGA-1 team leader and his best friend.

"I have a best friend. Now there's something that I never expected to be able to say!" Rodney said with a smile.

While he appreciated the Colonel's friendship, there were times when he cursed him for it too! This meant that he had to worry about someone else. It was a pain, as sometimes it just plain got in the way. He remembered how he had felt all those times that John had nearly died. Rodney remembered all too clearly this time that they had had to stop his heart as the lay on the jumper floor. The feeling of desolation at the fact that this best friend might not make it and that there was nothing he could do had ripped through him. Even now thinking about it made him shiver.

"I care about him a lot. Damn it!"

This was the last thing he had wanted. But now as Rodney lay there in the darkness, lit only by the light that shone through his window, he realised how important Johns friendship was to him. It really did matter to him that John liked him and wanted to be around him. And most of all it mattered that he trusted him. Like the nature of Radek's friendship, this fact was also brought home to him after the incident on Doranda.

"I came so close to loosing it!" he thought, as he lay there.

The memories of the conversation that John had had with him, that day at the transporter, were still in his mind. If he thought about it too hard it was as if it had happened yesterday.

Rodney had no idea how much time had passed when there was a knock at the door.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3 A Time For Bonding

-1Lemons & Wraith & John. Oh My!

A/n For all disclaimers and notes etc please see chapter 1.

There may be spoilers for seasons 1, 2 and 3.

Chapter 3 A Time For Bonding.

"Hey buddy. Let me in." Johns voice came through the door, sounding very happy for this time of day.

Rodney jumped up and opened it. He was met by John with a huge grin on his face. Rodney raised his eyebrows and let him come in, making a gesture towards a seat as he sat down on the bed.

"Colonel, is there something I can do for you?" Rodney asked.

John looked awfully smug and said, "No, but there is something that I can do for you. Get your shoes on and follow me."

"Why would I want to do that?" he asked, looking to see where his shoes were.

John looked at Rodney expectantly. "I had a feeling that you wouldn't get back to sleep so I thought that you might enjoy the company."

Reaching for his shoes, Rodney looked up at John. He wasn't sure about the company, but he knew the Colonel was right about one thing. At the moment, the last thing on his mind was going to sleep.

"Alright Colonel. Give me a moment and I will be with you."

John was happy to wait. Eventually they found themselves walking down the corridor . John took a look at Rodney as they walked. He seemed a lot calmer and some colour had come back to his cheeks. John was glad of this. Rodney wanted to say something to John, but he was so full of emotions he couldn't find the words. So they walked together in silence.

Eventually they stopped at a transporter. Getting in, the two men went to a part of city that was rarely used.

"Colonel, what are we doing here?" he said as he followed John.

The Colonel led him out on to one of the cities many balconies. Rodney took in the scene before him. There were two sleeping bags laid out on the balcony floor, one of which was on a blow up mattress. Between them was a storm lantern. Laying on one of the sleeping bags was a rucksack and a flask.

It was a mild night and the sky was clear and full of stars.

Rodney realised that he had never taken the time to just stand and look at the sea, to let the world go by. Of course he had been to some of the balconies before. But whenever he did, he had something on his mind. Either a problem that needed to be solved, or a new piece of ancient technology that had been found. It didn't mater what it was, there was always something to bother him. So doing this was something of a luxury for him.

"It's beautiful." he thought.

Turning round he saw that John had sat down and was getting something out of his rucksack.

"Come and sit down Rodney. The rucksack is full of food and there is something special in here for you." he said pointing to the flask as he opened it.

Rodney sat down. It was rather comfortable, all things considered. John handed him a mug of brown, steaming liquid. He breathed it in. There was an unmistakeable smell of chocolate.

"Where did you get this from?" Rodney asked, as he took a sip.

It was wonderful. He gave John a big smile.

John said to Rodney, "I called in a few favours. After the way you were earlier, it was worth sharing it with you just to see you smile."

Rodney looked around him and asked, "All this?"

"I was going to persuade Elizabeth to give us a few days off so that I could take you camping on the mainland." John replied, with a sheepish look on his face.

"Which particular part of your brain thought that I would think that it was a good idea?" Rodney asked, in his usual sarcastic manner, as he took another sip of his chocolate.

"The part that cares about you and thinks that you could do with a little down time." John said catching Rodney's eye.

"I wish we could have made it to the mainland." John couldn't quite hide the disappointment in his voice.

Rodney looked across at John. He realised that John had done this for him because he cared enough to see that he needed a break. He was really touched.

Taking another sip of chocolate he said, "This is good. It's nice out here. Thank you John." Rodney watched as John lit the storm lantern. There was something warm and reassuring about its glow.

Looking in to the Rucksack, John pulled out some sandwiches and gave them to Rodney.

"Here. I wasn't sure if you'd eaten. I hope you like turkey." he said as he watched Rodney open the bag.

Rodney smiled. As a matter of fact he was rather hungry. He had got so caught up in his work that all he had had to eat was his usual working meal of power bars and coffee.

Taking a bite he said, "This is good."

John pulled one out too and began to eat.

Rodney looked at John as he ate his sandwich. No matter how hard he tried he could never quite work out why this friendship worked and why it mattered to him so much. The only conclusion he could come to was that the entity known as Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, was so much a part of his life that there was nothing he could do about it. Not that he wanted to anyway.

"How are you feeling Rodney?" John asked as he finished his sandwich.

Rodney thought for a moment before replying, "Apart from stupid you mean. It was only a dream for heavens sake. I should have realised that you wouldn't do anything to me."

"It's ok Rodney. Nightmares can do that to you sometimes." John replied.

He thought back to all the bad dreams he had had over the years. Dreams about the people and comrades that he couldn't save or bring back.

"I guess one good thing has come out of this …" Rodney stopped.

He wasn't that good at dealing with his feelings or expressing them so this was more than awkward. But at the same time Rodney felt that if he didn't say this now he never would.

" … I have realised that I am part of the Atlantis family. I have finally found a place where I am wanted and needed. Somewhere I can make a difference. Somewhere where I don't have to live my life alone. I have friends too and most of all, I have a best friend and that's you John. …"

He looked at John and continued, " … It scares me sometimes. I'm not used to having friends. As you have no doubt noticed, I'm not the easiest of people to get on with."

John couldn't help chuckling as he said this.

"So people never bothered with trying to make friends with me. I didn't mind that at all. It meant that I could shut the door on the world outside at the end of the day and not have to worry about anyone else. It all seemed so easy."

Rodney stopped and finished the last of his chocolate.

Noticing this, John held out the flask, "Would you like some more?"

"Er … yes please." Rodney replied as he held out his mug.

"Where was I? Oh yes. It all seemed so easy. But since I have come to Atlantis my life has been turned upside down. I have seen things I never thought existed. Done things that I would never have imagine myself doing. I have been attacked by things that I really could have done without meeting …"

They both knew that Rodney meant the Wraith.

"I have a whole city and sometimes the entire population of the planet that have come to rely on me to get their collective rear ends out whatever particular fire they are in. I have even had to help save the populations of other planets too! Throughout all this there has been one thing that has helped me through the bad times and made me feel even better during the good times. That has been your friendship John. I never realised how much you meant to me until tonight. You see, as I was lying on my bed, I did some thinking. I realised that I have come to rely on you and the friendship that we have. …"

John reached in to his rucksack and pulled out some bars of chocolate and some sweets. Placing them between the two of them, he motioned for Rodney to help himself.

"Knowing you are dead would be painful enough. But to loose your friendship and still see you around the city. … Well that would be almost too much to bear."

Rodney grabbed a Mars Bar from the pile and started to eat it.

John looked at Rodney. He had never realised that he felt this way.

"Wow" he said, "You know the first time we met, in Antarctica, if some one had said that we would have ended up being best friends, I think I would have laughed at them. And yet, here we are. "

This time it was Rodney's turn to chuckle.

"I remember the day you walked in to the darkness. It was a very stupid and very brave thing to do. I was proud of you. I realised then that there was more to you than meets the eye." He stopped, took a drink and reached over and grabbed a bar of chocolate for himself.

"I think that seeing that side of you was what made me want to be your friend. And it is something that I have no regrets over"

Rodney looked at John in surprise. "You mean it! I know that I can be a pain at times and I am not the easiest people to get on with"

There was a pause. Then he continued, "I could try and change you know. Yes. I'm sure I could manage it!"

Munching in to his chocolate bar John looked at him and frowned.

"Why would I want you to do that? It wouldn't be the same if you didn't give me a snarky reply to things. Anyway, I think you'd scare your scientists even more if you were nice."

John and Rodney both laughed at this

"I can just imagine Radek coming up to me and saying, 'Where is he? What have you done with our Rodney?'" John gave his impression of Dr Zelenka.

Rodney couldn't help grinning at this, "The accent was terrible but I know what you mean."

John was struggling to find the right words to say. He wasn't very good at all the heartfelt stuff and it was making him feel more than a little uncomfortable. But he felt that he owed it to Rodney. After all, he was the one who was sitting pouring his heart out and he got the distinct feeling that Rodney didn't find it any easier to do this than he did.

"Here goes nothing!" he thought to himself.

"I guess what I am trying to say is … I value your friendship. I know fine that Atlantis wouldn't be here because of you. I'm not so sure that I would be either. …"

John looked at Rodney as he continued, "You manage to keep me grounded and you remind me that life isn't all doom and gloom. I don't want you to change because you wouldn't be you. I can see how far you have come Rodney and that makes me proud too. I know that you aren't the easiest of people to get on with and I really don't care. I don't care about your attitude, your whining, or even the way that you behave to your other staff members. I don't even care about the fact that you sometimes manage to drive me crazy! I don't care because that is all part of the man that I know as Rodney Mckay. And you know what?"

Rodney looked at John and shook his head.

"I wouldn't want it any other way."

Rodney looked at John with a satisfied look on his face as he grabbed another chocolate bar from the pile.

"You really care about me don't you?" he asked.

"Yes Rodney." John replied with a contented sigh, "Oh, by the way. You don't have to worry about going to the lab any time soon. I had a word with Dr Zelenka and he promised me that he will find us if there are any problems."

Rodney was about to protest when he changed his mind.

Instead he replied, "Thank you."

After a short silence he continued, "So does this mean we are cool?"

John thought for a minute and said "You may be cool. I am fine!"

Rodney raised his eyebrows. He had not felt this good since … well he couldn't really remember when.

Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard was still his best friend and things were going as well as could be expected for this part of the Pegasus galaxy.

Finishing his chocolate bar he lay back down on his sleeping bag, closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

A new day dawned on Atlantis.

The End.


End file.
